i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
