okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
