you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
