He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
