I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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