i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
