1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
