Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
3 2 1 whiskey
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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