There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
