It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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