I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
