question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
