grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
