So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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