No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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