Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
