Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
