butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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