I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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