is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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