And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
