My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
