guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
