Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.

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(+44): View more from England

What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?

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(207): View more from Maine

Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

OMG THAT WAS YOU?!

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(909): View more from California

I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.

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(720): View more from Colorado

It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least

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(803): View more from South Carolina

She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.

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