just tell him i said nine months
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I will be naked everywhere
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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