So drunk its hurt
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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