dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
