She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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