Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
