just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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