I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
But break dance skills will only take you so far
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
