WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
