Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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