Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
NoShamevember. You game?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
