What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
