I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
