He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
