he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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