is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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