And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
