I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
