Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
