Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
