your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
