yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
