I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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