When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
