then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
two words: eviction party
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
