It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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