We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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