I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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