HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize