She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
