I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
