Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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