I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize