it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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