new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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