He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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